Category: pregnancy

overcoming infertility

Overcoming Infertility: A Real-Life Story (Part 1)

Overcoming infertility…sometimes it seems impossible. But, with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). I’m a living witness that it is possible and I know others who have done so. Some of the ladies in my Facebook Group requested that I share more stories of women who have overcome infertility.

I’m T-H-R-I-L-L-E-D to share Amanda’s story.

Amanda and I met when she attended my very first iHope Fertility Retreat in May 2014. She flew to Phoenix and participated whole-heartedly the entire weekend. She and I have kept in touch since then and I am honored that she keeps me posted on the development and growth of her family. Amanda has given me permission to share the details of her season of infertility and how she experienced breakthrough despite multiple miscarriages. I know her story will bless you!

Overcoming Infertility: Amanda’s Story

My name is Amanda Roberts.  I’m 35 years old and I have battled the lie of infertility. Many of you have been blessed by Evangeline stepping out in her calling to walk with women who are in this battle for creation.  I am one of them.  Two years ago I was crawling out of a very dark place. Finding the words that the Lord lead her to write, and later meeting her in person, was life changing.  She has asked me to write a “short” recap of my story in hopes of encouraging you where you are at now.  I love words and I verbally process everything, so this will likely not be short, but I pray that it is encouraging.

So, I guess I’ll start with sharing where I believe this story really began.  I gave my life to Christ in February 2004.  There was a lot that happened really quickly after that, including moving away from the only home I had known in Minnesota and settling in Washington State.  By the time I had married my husband Chris in February 2009, I thought the Lord had cleaned my closets bare of all of my old “stuff”, but like for many, marriage uprooted a lot of fear I thought I had overcome.  The way it took ground the strongest was being terrified to be a mother.  Filled with self-hatred, I was confident “I’d screw them up” and I spoke this over myself quite regularly.  My husband on the other hand, had a way with children I had never seen before.  He was truly born to be a father.  Like Jesus does though, He pursued me, encouraged me and softened my heart to my true heart’s desire, which was undeniably a desire to be a mom.

Trying to Start a Family

Chris and I truly started trying for a baby in April of 2011.  Month after month I had the evidence of our failed attempts.  My family doctor recommended we see a fertility specialist if we were not pregnant after 1 year, but almost like clockwork in April of 2012 I tested positive.  We were so excited.  I almost instantly headed to my first consignment show, bought a changing table, a bottle warmer, books and clothes.  We sent cute notices to the grandparents out-of-state and announced it to our friends. 

A week later (5 ½ weeks in) I found black blood in my underwear and soon after had a negative pregnancy test at the doctor’s office.  They called it a “spontaneous abortion”.  The next month, I started having similar symptoms and went in.  The blood work confirmed a pregnancy, but this time the levels started dropping before I had a missed period.  We prayed about going through with infertility testing and it wasn’t until after I met Evangeline that I remembered what the Lord said….”all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial.”  I wanted answers so bad though, that I disregarded what God was hinting at and dived in head first. 

Overcoming Infertility Didn’t Seem Possible

We had the full workup and long story short, we were told I had more bad eggs than good eggs.  We spent the next 9 months doing everything the doctor recommended, including agreeing with the “diagnosis”.  That is the one thing about worldly knowledge–it can distract you from what God said. The blood work confirmed a problem, but NOTHING is above the Word of God.  Of course, you have to choose to agree with Him. When you are handed knowledge that contradicts His truth, it’s easy to get sucked in to speaking what feels tangible.  It was easier to take pills, give myself shots and tell people I had “bad eggs” when they asked me why we hadn’t had kids yet. 

We’re pretty sure we miscarried again in October, but only based on similar symptoms as before.  My body didn’t respond to the drugs the way they were supposed to except for making me “crazy” and when I didn’t ovulate at all with our second IUI treatment, I came off the drugs and found my mind clear again.  That was enough for us to decide to put treatments on the top shelf.

A Clearer Mind

I wish I could say that with a clearer mind, God’s truth overpowered the lies of the enemy, but unfortunately I continued to accept the “bad egg diagnosis” as truth and speak it regularly.  As Mother’s Day usually is for those battling infertility, 2013 wasn’t any different, until the test taken later in the day came back positive.  I was pregnant without help. The blood work at the infertility clinic proved it and I thought my dry season was finally over. 

As the weeks progressed, my blood work was climbing too slowly.  They suspected a tubal pregnancy until there was a sack spotted on the ultrasound.  That was all it was to become though and eventually I allowed my body to abort what I believe was my 4th child.  It took 2 months from the time I tested positive until my body finally let it go, so it was very much like a roller coaster of emotions and repeated submission.  We both leaned hard on God during that time.  I read a book on the God of Job, which opened my eyes to a new perspective and though we both fell into a hole for several months after that miscarriage, God was faithful to bring us back to solid ground.

We eventually decided to try again and got pregnant in September.  I had real pregnancy symptoms, my blood levels were climbing and we were sent home to wait for the 8 week ultrasound.  At 6 weeks the symptoms stopped, but we held on to hope.  We cried out to God, we believed and had faith, while my body was screaming “IT’S OVER”.  At 8 weeks there was more than a sack, but no heartbeat and at 9 weeks it was the same. 

Identifying with Infertility

Overcoming infertility began to appear impossible. We both entered into a dark place after that.  My body aborted as it should and I lost my way.  I honestly can’t remember much except I cried a lot.  I had lighter days followed by pure depression.  I stopped going to church, I pulled away from friends and I lost hope.  My only real attachment to God was through music. Songs like “I’m Worn” and “Hope Is What We Crave” kept me holding on to the possibility that God was still there and hadn’t forsaken me.  By the beginning of 2014, I knew Jesus was the answer, but I had no idea how he was going to fix what now felt like an identity.  Infertility was what I had become. 

A few months later, I was shown a verse, Exodus 23:25-26:

You shall serve [only] the Lord your God, and He shall bless your bread and water. I will also remove sickness from among you. No one shall suffer miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.

At this point I didn’t “get it”, but it made me want to know more about what God had to say on infertility.  With a prompting to google search it, I found Evangeline’s book “A Seed of Hope – God’s Promises of Fertility”.  God started talking and/or I started listening.  He talked to me through the pages of this book. He also spoke to me through an encounter during a baby dedication (which I had been avoiding quite faithfully for over 2 years), through friends, and through His Word.

[Read the rest of Amanda’s story here next week. Don’t miss it! Get it delivered to your inbox by providing your email address at the top right of this site.]

Mother’s Day and Infertility

mother's day infertilityMother’s Day and infertility–they just don’t seem to go together. If you’re in the throes of infertility, is this a difficult time for you?

I remember some years ago when I dreaded Mother’s Day because I was struggling with infertility and it was difficult to get through that Day without feeling inadequate. Despite all the “trying” my husband and I had been doing, nothing was working and I felt like so out-of-place on that Day.

I wanted to experience pregnancy and it seemed that I couldn’t.

I wanted to watch my tummy grow and it seemed like that could very possibly be impossible.

I wanted to feel the baby kicking and moving inside of me and it seemed that I wouldn’t.

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”

~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

With infertility, the finite disappointment rolls around on a monthly basis, but don’t allow it to make you lose hope in Jesus’ for love you. Don’t let the doctor’s diagnosis make you lose hope for having a child. There’s a spiritual enemy, the devil, that would love for you to give up on Jesus–don’t let him win. Hope is what gets us through the tough times. I overcame infertility because I did not lose hope…I did not give up on God promises.

Reinforce your hope this week by digging more deeply into God’s promises of fertility. Let them give you courage to rest in His unfailing integrity, His covenantal willingness, and His omnipotent strength. Placing our hope in Jesus is the only sure thing. He desires to be our anchor, especially in times of raging storms.

“We have this HOPE as an anchor for the soul.” ~ Hebrews 6:19

Stay in the Word this week…allow Jesus’ love to speak to you through it. Need some suggestions for some applicable verses to read? Check out the appendix in my fertility devotional, A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility for lots of encouraging passages.

How will you cope with Mother’s Day 2015? Please share with us your ways of maintaining hope!


Image courtesy of 89studio |

3 Reasons to Believe You Will Get Pregnant

It’s so easy to believe the negative reports about infertility. We humans are trained through our normal, everyday situations to focus on and remember the negative circumstances of life. But what if there were powerful reasons to believe something radically different from the medical reports and the advice/counsel you get from friends and family?

Would you believe?

Here are three reasons to believe that you are blessed and empowered to overcome infertility:

  1. God said none should be barren/infertile, not male or female.  [Deuteronomy 7:14]
  2. God said ALL things are possible with Him [Luke 1:37] and impossible without Him. [John 15:5]
  3. God said He is always with you and His Spirit bears witness to the Truth (what God has said) because His Word is truth.[ 1 John 5:6; John 17:17]

We’re told in 1 Kings 8:56 that “not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises He gave.”

Will you believe?

God’s Promises of Fertility

I hope you’ll be encouraged by this excerpt, which is one of the daily readings from my devotional e-book, “A Seed of Hope–God’s Promises of Fertility.”


“Now thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ…”

~ 2 Corinthians 2:14 ~

Confidence. It means trusting in the abilities, strengths, integrity, or faithfulness of someone or some thing. Typically, we willingly speak out boldly about people when we are confident in them. We are told in 1 John 5:14 that having confidence in God means that we believe that He hears us when we pray according to His Word and that He will grant what we ask. Part of your battle plan against infertility must include increasing your confidence in God’s love for you.

Having confidence in others, even God, may sometimes be difficult.  Have you ever had trouble letting someone else be in charge? I have. Have you ever wanted someone else to take control of a situation and allowed him or her to do so, only to snatch it right back because you didn’t like how he or she was doing it? Maybe that’s what you’re experiencing with God—not trusting Him enough to completely let go of your circumstances and allowing Him to be in control. If so, you’ve got to get over the fear of what will happen if you’re not in control and instead, trust that His way is a better way. Develop a positive expectation of what will happen when He’s in control.

That’s what my husband and I experienced in our battle against infertility. As engineers, we both were good planners and detail-oriented. We had our lives planned out and thought we knew exactly when we’d start having children. We’d planned to wait until we had been married for 3-4 years, and of course we expected the pregnancy to happen within three months after we first started “trying”. On 6/2/86, I wrote in my journal: “Freeman and I are preparing to start pregnancy in July/August.” Well try as we may, our plan did not work.  It didn’t happen in July or August. Neither did it happen by the end of December. And so began the journey of going from doctor to doctor to see what was wrong with me and who could fix it. That journey did not last long before we decided we’d had enough. We clearly saw our need to develop confidence in God. We had to become better listeners to Him, through prayer and reading His Word, so we could follow His directions and find rest in His plan.

Speak the Word: I submit myself to God and His plan because I am confident that He always causes me to triumph in Christ Jesus.

More Encouragement: Hebrews 10:35,36; 1 John 5:14,15

I hope you’ll share this with others who need encouragement in their struggle. Remember, God loves YOU and He does not withhold good things from his children.

Benefit from having hope-filled daily readings like this at your fingertips. Check out the sample or purchase your devotional, “A Seed of Hope–God’s Promises of Fertility,”  on  Smashwords.

Announcing…’A Seed of Hope’ Devotional

Finally, an encouraging devotional for those suffering with infertility! My new ebook, “A Seed of Hope—God’s Promises of Fertility,” is from my perspective of having overcome infertility. It uplifts and brings hope to the reader through daily readings with the premise that nothing is too hard for God, not even infertility.

You’ll be encouraged along your journey to get through this season of childlessness by relying on, speaking, and trusting in the Word of God and His love for you. Please let me know what you think after you take a look inside “A Seed of Hope” .

 Devotional Readings that encourage you in the struggle of infertility!

A Seed of Hope Devotional- Amazon

Don’t Ignore…

Don’t ignore the spiritual aspect of infertility.

It is so easy to lose focus on the spiritual nature of infertility when the physical aspect overtakes your daily life. You and your spouse can become so obsessed with finding the cause and the cure for you situation that it can rob you of your peace. When you’re not experiencing peace, you’re likely to ignore the one thing that can bring about the solution you’re looking for.

It is important to strengthen yourself spiritually while dealing with infertility. Acknowledge the need to ask God for wisdom when faced with overcoming the enemy called “Infertility.” It may seem like a Goliath-sized enemy to you, but for God, “Infertility” is already a defeated foe. It is not too hard to break or destroy. God said so when he defeated infertility in Sarah’s life (see Genesis 18:14).

Luke 18:27 states, “And he [Jesus] said, The things which are impossible with men are possible WITH (in close proximity to) God”{emphasis mine}. Join yourself WITH Him by asking for wisdom in the decisions you make, by reading His word, by speaking and meditating His Word.

Trust that God’s Word is true for you. It will bring you guidance, comfort, and ultimately, greater peace.

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” ~~ Isaiah 26:3

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” ~~ John 14:27

Confidence in His Plans

Sometimes it’s hard to trust and be in agreement with the plans of someone else regarding the impact of their plans on YOUR life. If someone asked you whether you agree with whatever God has said and planned about your situation, what would be your response? Would you express sincere confidence in His plans for you?

Maybe  David of the Bible can be our example of how to be in agreement with God. David, a man who so openly loved and trusted God, knew the power of speaking the Word of God. He said in Psalm 17:4, “…By the word of Your lips, I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer.” Similarly, we must speak the Word of God to keep us off of Satan’s paths that are lined with his burdens and devices of deception.  Most importantly, speaking the Word helps us to keep our eyes and mind on Jesus’ love for us, which enables us to agree with His plans and receive the victory over infertility.

Be encouraged!

Fruit of the Womb

What’s the purpose of having children? Some may say: “To continue to populate the earth” or “To have someone to carry on the family name” or “A child will satisfy my need to be needed by someone else”, or worst-case scenario, “A child will save our marriage.” Just as a heads-up, having a child won’t save your marriage, especially if it’s already in trouble. Besides, that is a pretty selfish motive for bringing a child into this world.

God’s purpose for children is so that they grow to live godly, abundant lives and be able to show others a demonstration of His love and power. He wants to ensure that His Word is perpetuated from generation to generation, bringing wholeness, victory, and prosperity to each generation (Genesis 18:19). He wants everyone to experience His love.

The dictionary defines a “heritage” as something someone is born to, a special way of life that passes from generation to generation. Psalm 127: 3 tells us that children are a special possession of God, for whom He cares and watches as His own. A wise parent will regard each child as a reward and a source of joy. That’s a good reason to keep learning how to raise a godly child and to train him/her properly. This will enable the child to have deep faith and strong character. Parents should always seek God’s direction and assistance with this precious gift. They should consider themselves as privileged to participate in God’s creation process.

“Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward.”

 ~ Psalm 127:3 ~