Tag: adoption

An Adoption Story of Hope

I subscribe to a number of emailed newsletters that help me become a better author, a better business woman, and especially, a better person. I recently received one from life coach, Valorie Burton. In it, she shared exciting and encouraging news—along with her struggles of conceiving over the age of 40 and a miscarriage. This is her personal story of how her dream to become a mommy has come true. I share it, with her permission, because I think it will encourage you to not give up hope, even if adoption is is not the path to parenthood that you choose.



 Valorie’s Story:

My lifelong dream has come true. Our lives have changed dramatically and beautifully in the last month. Since marrying my husband in 2013, I’ve been a “bonus” mom to two sweet, energetic, loving little girls. And now, God has seen fit to expand our family with a beautiful baby boy we’ve been privileged to adopt!  That’s right. I’ve become a mommy.

If you’ve read my books or followed me for a while, you know this has been a dream deferred, but I have never given up on the vision I’ve sensed deep in my spirit for marriage and family.  At times, I have felt frustrated, helpless, and discouraged, but I refused to give up hope. I could not.  To give up hope would be to give up on God. As I stand in the midst of this vision of love that has unfolded, I feel led to share my lessons learned so I can encourage you to persevere towards your own vision – whatever that vision might be:   

  1. Keep hoping.
    Without hope, there is no vision. When you stop hoping, you start settling. Be relentless and focused. At times, it may even appear you are delusional to keep hoping. So what! Keep believing in your vision and make your decisions, whether about relationships, finances, career, that honor your ultimate goal.
      
  2. Don’t let disappointments become your destination.
    Separation and divorce. Navigating the tumultuous dating landscape of Atlanta. Trying to conceive over 40. Miscarrying twins. All have been my reality in the last seven years. Each could have become a bitter destination, except for this: I refused to see my disappointments as a permanent destination.  Some were devastating detours. I had to stop journeying for a while and recover. But I made a decision to be better and not bitter after each one. I made a decision not to get stuck staring at the obstacles before me, but to look up and remember the vision in my heart. That vision compelled me to keep hoping and keep moving forward.
      
  3. Be open to a path that looks different than you expected.
    It is easy to be rigid about how your dream must come together. Don’t. Be open to divine orchestration. Let go of your need to control the “how” of your vision so you can stay focused on the “why” – which leads me to this last point …
      
  4. Stay focused on the PURPOSE of your vision more than the excitement of it.
    At points, I began to doubt whether I would ever become a mother, and before that, whether I would ever find the kind of love I believe in.  A transformational message emerged from my doubt, though. I asked myself, “What if you never marry?” “What if you never have a child?” And I answered my “What if” questions. Here’s what I realized:  The world would not come to an end, so I better learn to be happy regardless of the outcome! If I didn’t get married or have children, I would live my life single without children and I would choose to have an incredible life. There are many women I greatly admire who are single without children – and happy, purposeful, loved and loving. So then, what would be the purpose of marriage and family in my life?  That is the question I needed to answer for myself.  I don’t believe that having a child is about me becoming a mom. I believe it is about having the blessed opportunity to nurture and grow a child God has seen fit to place in my care.  What an honor. It is about him, not me.  And perhaps that is the shift in thinking that shifted my life and brought us this amazing, perfect little boy for us. 


A Call to Action for you:  Don’t give up on God (Genesis 18:14). Stay connected to Him through His promises found in His Word. Hear His quiet voice within you giving you wisdom about how to proceed along your path. You can find more encouragement in A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility.

A Seed of Hope
A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility by Evangeline Colbert

Winter :: on Waiting and Wisdom

It’s my pleasure to have Lisha Epperson bless you with her unique way of inspiring you to have hope– to wait with expectancy. Thanks Lisha for being my guest!

Lisha - winter blog post

It was Christmas and the long drive out to southern New Jersey made my legs cramp and tingle. I jumped out of my seat, folding arms around my most valued possession. That year, I was happy. That year, I had a baby to hold. I made a beeline for the entrance. Making my way to my brothers’ always open door, I trudged through fresh fallen snow.

Cold rushed in behind me but couldn’t compete with their cozy home. I pushed the door shut with my free arm and enjoyed the heart warming feeling of family…of home. Surrounded by faces I love, I looked up to see my sister-in-law coming down the stairs. She had just given birth to their third child…a boy. And I had forgotten the particular sting a new baby brings to a woman who cannot birth her own children. I was in love with my son and in so many ways fulfilled, when I remembered. Adoption isn’t a cure for infertility. It healed my hurt but didn’t cure the longing.

She held him over her shoulder swaddled in a thin tan blanket. I could smell him. Before she reached me I imagined the softness of his skin, the tender curl of his hair. I wasn’t done. The longing was intense and moved me to hopeful, happy tears. I lowered my eyes to hide tears I could never explain. That night I knew there’d be another baby in my world. And so began another season of waiting.

This season of waiting would be different though. I’d learned how to do it.

Winter is for waiting.

It’s cold and NYC is covered in a blanket of snow. Outside, several inches cling to over-laden leaves and branches. They bend, giving in and to the weight of their unexpected burden.

But it’s beautiful and important. The shimmering softness and powdery glitter tell stories of an airy wonderland. It feels magical and weightless. But tiny leaves and thin branches have another story to tell. They’re holding on.

Look closely. Each snowflake under a veil of uniformity is unique. And today’s snow fall won’t look the same tomorrow. In fact, each storm is new and will never come again. Winter is a perpetual pause, a forced interruption before the wild rush of spring. Winter wills us to wait in expectancy. A tender shoot. A fragile twig, the elusive bud. Winter demands….spring.

It’s broken, brittle and cracks. Lulled by this cyclical suspension, winter forces us inside. We crave shelter, a covering and protection from danger. We retreat to prepare for the hopeful promise of spring. But first we wait.

Winter is a season of waiting. Powdery hills and drifts camouflage life. And bare trees crush optimism. Winter covers or strips…either way, our view is obstructed and we find it hard to see.

Winter is hard not hopeless.

Winter tests our faith…because the promise of spring comes with this truth. Not every tree will bloom. Not every bud will blossom. But we’re born to believe and winter makes us wrestle. We long for a faith that’s whole. Desperate to believe, we settle in to let God do the work….mending the cracks in our fragmented faith. In winter, we swallow the word whole and simply, beautifully…TRUST.

That winter was different. That winter I embraced the quiet. I didn’t worry about the wait.

The stillness and silence of a world gone cold is perfect for restoration. Before the breakthrough we’d do well to replenish. It’s the ideal time to renew our faith…to prepare our hearts to again…BELIEVE.

Winter is for wisdom. Let’s use it wisely.  

View More: http://kimdeloachphoto.pass.us/allumeheadshotsLisha Epperson writes the stories of her life on the couch , in the car or at the kitchen table. She scratches out bits and pieces of joy and lessons learned while homeschooling 4 children she affectionately calls the Lovelies…..usually with a cold cup of coffee nearby.  It isn’t easy to carve out a modern Christian lifestyle in NYC but that’s what she’s doing.   Lisha is  passionate about marriage, motherhood, nutrition and her Christian faith. She makes room for her journey through infertility and adoption and shares a warrior song about this experience as an encouragement to women at www.seespeakhearmama.com. In other travels Lisha was  a ballet dancer and clothing designer. She is currently in the process of launching Epperson Design Studio featuring stationery, crafts and clothing.

I know you’ll find hope from this family’s story. God has done a wonderful work in their lives!