Tag: marriage

Tip for Maintaining a Strong Marriage While Dealing with Infertility

marriageMaintaining a strong marriage can be difficult while dealing with infertility. There are multiple struggles while on so many levels because infertility has a way of infiltrating every aspect of life, usually with a heightened degree of negativity. Unfortunately, a significant number of couples decide to divorce due the stress put upon them by the challenges of trying to conceive. Fundamentally, the cause of divorce is an attachment to false beliefs, concepts or ideas.

Today, I want to share a tip that hopefully you’ll find helpful in strengthening your marriage during this season of infertility.

Marriage Tip

Why do most people get a divorce? Because they blame the other partner for making them unhappy or miserable.  Blame, shame, and self-justification become the rule of the day instead of love, encouragement, selflessness, and forgiveness.  The way to emerge from the unhappiness caused by those negative beliefs is to come into agreement that the Lord will be the Head of the marriage and that divorce is not an option. Once that you make that determination, here’s  an important decision to make:

Decide that your spouse is not your enemy.

Even though your spouse may not fully grasp the depth of the pain you’re experiencing, he/she is in a covenant relationship with you and should be trusted, respected, and loved. When emotions are on “tilt,” they have a tendency to muddy the waters when it comes to decision making. Both of you are on the same team and need to fight as one strong unit. Make unity in Christ the priority for your marriage. That step of intentionality makes it much easier to weather the storm of infertility.

Maintaining a strong marriage can be difficult while dealing with infertility. Here's a tip that will help...Decide that your spouse is not your enemy. Click To Tweet

Husband and Wife: Praying God’s Word Together

If you’ve read many of my blog posts, you know I’m a big proponent of speaking God’s Word out loud. Our words carry the power of life and death. Jesus said that His words were spirit and life (not about death!). So why not ensure that your words are carriers of life by infusing Scripture in what you say?

“The words I have spoken to you are full of the Spirit. They give life.” John 6:63 NIRV

When Jesus was faced with temptation in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11), He always answered the taunts of the devil with something from Scripture by saying, “It is written…”. I think we should imitate the example He set!

Husband and Wife Praying

That’s why I want to encourage you to consider including speaking relevant Scripture out loud when you pray with your spouse.  There’s a special power available when God hears a husband and wife praying together–we’re assured that He’s in the midst (Matthew 18:19-20). AND, there’s added power if that couple is incorporating God’s Word– Scripture –in their prayers. Check out my previous post in this series on praying with your spouse.

As you start/build and strengthen the habit of praying with your spouse, here is a sampling of verses you can incorporate in your prayers. Speaking God’s Word is how you apply His promises to your situation. It also increases your faith and empowers you to pray with confidence that He hears your prayers. Another benefit is that it will help you believe that He will follow through on what He said in His Word (Romans 10:17; 1 John 5:14,15).


Praying Scripture

Print and share these verses with your spouse as you prepare to pray together:

[Romans 8:1 ESV]  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

[Psalm 118:1 ESV]  Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!

[Psalm 66:20 ESV]  Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!

[Isaiah 41:10 ESV]  Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

[Jeremiah 32:39 ESV] I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them.

[2Corinthians 2:14 ESV] But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession.

[Psalm 84:11 ESV] For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.

What other verses would you add to this list?

As you start/build and strengthen the habit of praying with your spouse, here is a sampling of Bible verses you can incorporate in your prayers. Click To Tweet
Praying with your spouse - love in action

Praying with Your Spouse

What is an advantage of praying with  your spouse? Taking time to pray with your husband can help you get thru the daily grind of handling issues at home, at work, within relationships, etc. And it can help the two of you draw closer to one another and to the Lord.

I’ve learned over 37 years of marriage that there’s a certain “magic” that you can experience when praying with your spouse. Incorporating this action/habit into your life will help fortify your marriage. Even if there is conflict in the relationship, praying together will work to defuse the disagreements. Also, there is power in praying together because the two of you are inviting the God of the universe to be involved in your circumstances.

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:19-20 NIV

Prayer always serves to bring calm in the midst of the storm. This is true especially when your prayers are infused with the Word of God. It’s good to find scripture verses to include in your prayer time. Look for verses that specifically address the issue you’re praying about. By doing so, you’ll see how praying together will bring a peaceful and unifying effect to your daily life.

There is power in praying together because the two of you are inviting the God of the universe to be involved in your circumstances (see Matthew 18:19-20). Click To Tweet

Does Praying with Your Spouse Feel Weird?

Praying with your spouse may feel weird at first. Due to circumstances that affect your marriage, it may not be easy to do. But don’t give up! As you and your spouse become more comfortable with regularly interacting with God together, the more you’ll see evidence of His guidance,  wisdom and peace.

Praying together should be friendly, not forced. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some suggestions of things to pray about:

  • blessings you’re thankful for
  • how to joyfully serve one another
  • protection of your family
  • the health of each of you

Consistent fellowship with God by praying your concerns and the things you’re thankful for with your spouse can transform your marriage. By getting in touch with His love for the both of you, your marriage relationship is strengthened. And then you’re better able to recognize and enjoy the blessings He has planned for the both of you.

 

Praying - where is god

Praying for Your Husband

Do you have confidence when you’re praying for your husband?

I want to encourage you to trust the power of God’s Word and show your confidence in it by including it in your prayers for your husband.

I love finding Scripture that is applicable to whatever is on my mind. Sometimes, I think of a keyword about whatever my concern is and then I look it in a concordance to find a verse that relates. Other times, a verse may come to my remembrance and I search for it in various translations. I like to use BlueletterBible for both of these searches. Currently, I’m praying Ephesians 3:16 AMPC for my hubby:

May He grant you out of the rich treasury of His glory to be strengthened and reinforced with mighty power in the inner man by the Holy Spirit [Himself indwelling your innermost being and personality]. 

Praying Scripture

Have you prayed Scripture before? If so, how you confident did you feel about it?

Be encouraged… God said His Word would not return to Him void. So when you return His Word to Him by praying it and by confessing it aloud, you can have confidence that He not only hears you but He’s also putting appropriate action behind His Word.

In the same way, my words leave my mouth, and they don’t come back without results. My words make the things happen that I want to happen. They succeed in doing what I send them to do. – Isaiah 55:11 ERV

That’s right. From this know that I am watching over My word until it is accomplished. – Jeremiah 1:12 VOICE

We have such confidence in him that we are certain that he hears every request that is made in accord with his own plan. And since we know that he invariably gives his attention to our prayers, whatever they are about, we can be quite sure that our prayers will be answered. – 1 John 5:14-15 PHILLIPS

As you’re praying for your husband, have confidence in God’s Word being true for him.

What’s on your mind today about your husband? What Scripture is applicable to that concern or desire?  Please share the Scripture in the comments below.

So when you return His Word to Him by praying it and by confessing it aloud, you can have confidence that He not only hears you but He's also putting appropriate action behind His Word. Click To Tweet

Maintaining a Strong Marriage During Infertility

This blog post on maintaining a strong marriage first appeared here a couple of years ago. This past weekend a friend reminded me that the keys to a good marriage are good to keep top-of-mind during this season, so I thought I’d share this again.


A Strong Marriage Takes Work

Maintaining a successful marriage takes work under “normal” circumstances. It is especially important to work at maintaining a strong, hope-filled, and love-based marriage during the stressful circumstances added by a season of infertility.

Here are some important keys about love as God intended a husband and wife to experience it. Focus on how love REALLY is and not as it’s portrayed on television, in romance novels, and online. Focus on God’s love for you and how He wants you to love your spouse. Get more tips and encouragement in my e-book, Infertility Sucks! How to Maintain Hope in Your Marriage During Infertility.

I know the struggle is real. Which of these keys are you using “on purpose” in your marriage to keep it strong?

 

Strong Marriage

 

Focus Friday – Love in Marriage

Maintaining a successful marriage takes work under “normal” circumstances. It is especially important to work at maintaining a strong, hope-filled, and love-based marriage during the stressful circumstances added by a season of infertility.

Here are important some keys about love, as God intended it to be experienced between husband and wife. Focus on how love REALLY is and not as it’s portrayed on television, in romance novels, and online. Focus on God’s love for you and how He wants you to love your spouse.

Get more tips and encouragement in my ebook, Infertility Sucks! How to Maintain Hope in Your Marriage During Infertility.

 

Love and Marriage

 

Communication During Infertility

Communication in a marriage is of utmost importance; it is critical if the marriage is going to be the best it can be. Without open and authentic communication, intimacy is negatively affected and that in itself opens the door to other problems. 

Mark 10:9 – What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

James 1:19 – Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Find help about how to strengthen your marriage during infertility in my book, “Infertility Sucks! How to Maintain Hope in Your Marriage During Infertility.”


Today’s post is taken from my friend’s blog over at In-Due-Time. Caroline Harries’ husband, Colby, shares great insights about maintaining open communication and expressing from the heart during their infertility journey. 

Communication is vital to relationships and essential to marriages. We have all heard, experienced, and accepted this important truth. Yet it is these types of foundational truths that we can also take for granted and miss if we become complacent. And communicating specifically in the area of a marriage that is going through infertility is something that has come up for us numerous times. I recently realized where I may have missed key communication that caused recurring heartache for us. Hopefully this will help other couples identify a potential area of hurt and miscommunication.

Read more…

Communication in Marriage



What do you do to maintain open communication with your spouse? 

The Good Thing I’ve Enjoyed For 33 Years

I’ve enjoyed a good thing for 33 years…being married to the guy that God gifted to me through “holy matrimony” in 1982.

good thing - wedding

 

These 33 years of married life have had their ups and downs but we’ve been blessed to experience a very high rate of ups!

Here are a few of the downs:

good thing - downs

  • The death of my father 6 months after we got married. My biggest regret about his death is that my children never got to know him as “Granddaddy.” He would have made a  wise and fun one!
  • My layoff from my job.
  • INFERTILITY
  • My mother’s bout with cancer.

 

Here are the few of the ups:

good thing - ups

      • My mother lived to see, hold, and pray for each of my children.
      • JOB SECURITY!!! Freeman has never been laid off from his job.
      • Discovering Family Life’s “Weekend to Remember” getaway. It’s a booster shot for our marriage. We’ve attended this event more than a dozen times!
      • We OVERCAME infertility using God’s Word
        • Gave birth to 3 wonderful children
        • I became a stay-at-home mom 🙂
      • Cancer has no authority in our family anymore.
      • My in-laws love me!
      • Freeman’s in-laws love him! 🙂
      • I became an author (NEVER planned for that to happen!)

 

I’m so glad today is my wedding anniversary. But more importantly, I’m so thankful to be sharing life with a man who loves God and loves me unconditionally and allows me to return the favor!

gifgifs

In honor of Freeman and our 33 years of being married, I’d like to share with you something a wise woman passed on to our church in 2013. It struck me as one more way that I can be selfless and focus on the good qualities my husband possesses (and that I desire him to possess).

Daily Confessions For My Husband

(Original version shared by Glorya Huff at SonRise in 2013)

He has the Meekness of Moses

The Patience of Job

The Ear of Samuel

The Courage of Joshua

The Strength of Sampson

The Discipline of Daniel

The Integrity of Joseph

The Heart of Boaz

The Focus of David

The Peace of Paul

The Steadfastness of Peter

The Love of John

And most of all, he has the Mind of Christ.

Freeman is my Mighty Man of GOD!

 

Here’s a link to a PDF of this confession. Why not personalize it and use it to speak goodness over your husband AND to help you focus on the goodness that’s already in him?

Daily Confessions For My Husband TEMPLATE

 

A Black Friday Just for Books–The Read Tuesday Event

Read Tuesday

Love to read books? Wish there were a Black Friday just for books? There is! It’s called Read Tuesday, and it happens on December 9, 2014. Some of the books are already on sale!

Take advantage of this amazing deal on my book, A Seed of Hope, on Amazon– “Buy the print edition, get the e-book for free.” What a great way to gift the book to someone else and be able to keep the ebook for yourself!

This is the season of bringing hope to others and I can’t think of a better way to share the hope of God’s promises of fertility.

If you read ebooks on a platform other than Kindle (Apple, Kobo, Nook, etc.), I have a deal for you as well. The digital format of A Seed of Hope will be FREE on Smashwords through 12/12/14 by using the coupon code BL66C.

As a bonus, I’m also discounting my book, Infertility Sucks! How to Maintain Hope in Your Marriage During Infertility. You can get it for $0.99 on Amazon on Read Tuesday (12/9/14 only).

Find out about the other Read Tuesday authors and their books here.

Happy book shopping!

 

HURRY! Get My Book for FREE!

Smashwords - RAEWbanner1

The folks at Smashwords are putting on a reading celebration! For one week, from March 2, 2014 until March 8, 2014, you will find many titles available for discounted pricing or for FREE during their Read an Ebook Week promotion.

I’m happy to say that my book, Infertility Sucks!, will be available for FREE for the entire week! Lots of other authors will have their books available through this promotion so now’s the time to stock up on new or favorite titles.

Infertility Sucks! will help any couple who is struggling with infertility, to strengthen their marriage and to nurture and increase their hope. It is a great follow up to my devotional, A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility. So if you haven’t gotten your copy of Infertility Sucks! or,  if you’d like to gift it to someone, use the coupon code TN72Q when you checkout Remember, this pricing is available only on Smashwords.com and you can use the coupon to get Infertility Sucks! for FREE through next Saturday, March 8th.

Infertility Sucks coverOnce you’ve read Infertility Sucks!, please let me know what you think of it by leaving a review on Smashwords or a comment here on my blog.

Thanks, and happy reading!