Category: Hope

Feeling Like You’re Stuck Between A Rock and A Hard Place

Stuck between a rock and a hard place

The pressures of infertility can make you feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. It’s as if it completely surrounds you, pressuring you to give up, to not see any advantage in continuing to hope. In the midst of infertility, life can feel like you’re always stuck between a rock and a hard place. It seems like not much of anything is working out in your favor. Every day seems as if infertility colors how you view life. It looms over every aspect of your life, clouding your vision so it’s hard to see anything good that’s on the horizon.

But I’m glad to share with you that in that place of feeling stuck, hope can shake things up, freeing you to enjoy life!

5 Secrets

Here are 5 secrets that I’ve found are powerful in nurturing and maintaining hope as you look to come out of this struggle with infertility.

  1. Believe God loves you. His love is a “no matter what” kind of love. No matter what you’ve done/thought/said, He loves you with an unfailing and unending love.
  2. Decide to not give up. Don’t underestimate the power of a decision!
  3. Remember the previous times, big or small, when God has come through for you. Encourage yourself. Think about those successes and the joy you experienced.
  4. On a daily basis, affirm the promises of God that relate to your situation by speaking them out loud. Instead of focusing on medical facts, allow God’s healing Word to be your point of focus and become your truth.
  5. Greet each morning with gratitude for the gift of a new day. This helps set a positive tone for the day ahead of you. Thankfulness has a way of shifting our attitude, choices, and behavior.

There’s Always Hope

Hope is one of the three things that 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us will always remain as a resource that allows us to tap into God’s grace. We are to always have hope—the joyful and confident expectation of God coming through for us!

Hope established upon Jesus’ love never disappoints.

When you’re feeling like you stuck between a rock and a hard place, hope is there to bring freedom! Hope is what provides an inner image of good things to come. Hope removes the shackles of despair, no matter what situation you’re facing. Allow hope to shake things up in your life so that you experience the freedom to confidently expect good things from a very good Father.

 

hope in depression

Hope Begins in the Midst of Darkness and Depression

 

Sometimes, we are overwhelmed by the darkness and depression that consistently and continually seep into our lives. It is a downright insidious attack. But God said that hope never fails (1 Corinthians 13:13).  His Word and His love give us reason to never give up until the radiant light of His Word has broken through the darkness!

Hope begins in the midst of darkness and depression… 

Hope is defined as a joyful and confident expectation of good. [Source: Thayer’s Lexicon]

I like to think of hope as H.O.P.E.:

Having

Only

Positive

Expectations

In this acrostic, “positive” not only means the opposite of negative, it also means confident, fully assured. Therefore, each day you can choose to have a confident expectation of something good coming your way to bring you out of this season of infertility.

The prophet Jeremiah is a case study for how to maintain hope. Consistently recalling what his enemy had done to him caused Jeremiah to get deeply depressed. His mind and emotions were not at peace and he even became oblivious to anything good (Lamentations 3). But, when he chose to recall the good things God had done, he was filled with hope, confidence, and expectancy.

Practice H.O.P.E. daily!

Make the choice to recall the good that God has already done in your life. Remember that He loves you, is always with you, and enjoys making Himself available to do you good.

The account of Abraham & Sarah overcoming infertility is referenced in Romans 4 and tells of how he had a steadfast, firm hope in God’s promises. Verse 18 says that he “hoped against hope.” The phrase “hope against hope” means to continue to have hope even though the present circumstances and future outlook don’t warrant it. Abraham kept looking for the manifestation of God’s promise of a child. That’s how you have only positive expectations!

Remember, hope begins in the midst of darkness and never gives up until the light has broken through!

Give yourself permission to be like Abraham– keep your hope alive. Even though depression may be looming large, even though your natural circumstances may not warrant having hope, keep the light of hope burning bright in the midst of the darkness. When you get tired of waiting, God is still right there to help you continue on. Let Him know you’d like His help in maintaining your H.O.P.E.. As you trust in Him and His goodness, it becomes easier to maintain and overflow in hope.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”
~ Romans 15:13 (NLT)

Will you choose to refuse despair and move toward victory each day?

[This post includes an excerpt from my book, Infertility Sucks!]

Real Love

5 Secrets to Help You Shake Things Up and Enjoy Life

I know what the pressure of infertility feels like. It’s as if it completely surrounds you, pressuring you to give up, to not enjoy life or to see any advantage in continuing to hope. In the midst of infertility, life can feel like you’re always stuck between a rock and a hard place. It seems like not much is working out in your favor. Every day seems as if infertility colors how you view life in general. It looms over every aspect of your life, clouding your vision so it’s hard to see anything good that’s on the horizon.

But I’m glad to share with you that in that place of feeling stuck, HOPE can shake things up, freeing you to enjoy life!

Here are 5 secrets that I’ve found that are powerful in helping you enjoy life as you maintain hope for victory in this struggle with infertility:

  1. Believe God loves you. His love is a “no matter what” kind of love. No matter what you’ve done/thought/said, He loves you with an unfailing and unending love.
  2. Decide to not give up. Don’t underestimate the power of a decision!
  3. Remember the previous times, big or small, when God has come through for you. Encourage yourself. Think about those successes and the joy you experienced.
  4. On a daily basis, affirm the promise of God that relates to your situation by speaking the Word out loud. Instead of focusing on medical facts, let God’s Word be your point of focus and become your truth.
  5. Greet each morning with gratitude for the gift of a new day. This helps set a positive tone for the day ahead of you. Thankfulness has a way of shifting our attitude, choices, and behavior.

Hope is one of the three things that 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us will always remain as a resource that allows us to tap into God’s grace. We are to always have hope—the joyful and confident expectation of God coming through for us!

Hope established upon Jesus’ love never disappoints.

Allow hope to shake things up in your life so that you experience the freedom to confidently expect good things from your very good Heavenly Father.


An Affirmation for You:

God loves me and desires for me to experience only His goodness so that I enjoy life. I rest in His love for me. I choose to allow His desires for my life to shape my desires. I maintain my hope in God.


What things are you currently doing to help you enjoy life during the struggle? Please share below.

Darkness vs. Light in Your Life

Darkness vs Light

A friend of mine has lost a friend to suicide. How dark life must have appeared to that person. She couldn’t see past the darkness even though the light was always shining.

Have you ever felt that hopeless about situations in your life? Ever felt overwhelmed by the darkness?

I pray that at this very moment, you’ll have eyes to see the light that Jesus is  lovingly making available to you. I pray that through His Word, you’ll be able to experience the hope it brings to your situation.

Jesus’ light shines on, even in the midst of darkness; it cannot be extinguished. Darkness cannot overpower the light His Word brings nor can it take authority over it.  Even in the natural realm, darkness cannot absorb light. Actually, light sends darkness fleeing! Just think about what happens when you flip a light switch or turn on a flashlight. Darkness immediately leaves. You’re able to see!

Light always wins.

Today, allow God’s Word to shine brightly and penetrate your darkest thoughts and your toughest situations.  Here’s how: read it, ponder it, speak it out loud to yourself. Repeat. Repeat again. Repeat until that Word gets rooted inside you and you begin to feel the darkness flee. Renew your partnership with God’s promises that address your situation. It’s your means to see His light.

Flip the switch.

 

 

An Adoption Story of Hope

I subscribe to a number of emailed newsletters that help me become a better author, a better business woman, and especially, a better person. I recently received one from life coach, Valorie Burton. In it, she shared exciting and encouraging news—along with her struggles of conceiving over the age of 40 and a miscarriage. This is her personal story of how her dream to become a mommy has come true. I share it, with her permission, because I think it will encourage you to not give up hope, even if adoption is is not the path to parenthood that you choose.



 Valorie’s Story:

My lifelong dream has come true. Our lives have changed dramatically and beautifully in the last month. Since marrying my husband in 2013, I’ve been a “bonus” mom to two sweet, energetic, loving little girls. And now, God has seen fit to expand our family with a beautiful baby boy we’ve been privileged to adopt!  That’s right. I’ve become a mommy.

If you’ve read my books or followed me for a while, you know this has been a dream deferred, but I have never given up on the vision I’ve sensed deep in my spirit for marriage and family.  At times, I have felt frustrated, helpless, and discouraged, but I refused to give up hope. I could not.  To give up hope would be to give up on God. As I stand in the midst of this vision of love that has unfolded, I feel led to share my lessons learned so I can encourage you to persevere towards your own vision – whatever that vision might be:   

  1. Keep hoping.
    Without hope, there is no vision. When you stop hoping, you start settling. Be relentless and focused. At times, it may even appear you are delusional to keep hoping. So what! Keep believing in your vision and make your decisions, whether about relationships, finances, career, that honor your ultimate goal.
      
  2. Don’t let disappointments become your destination.
    Separation and divorce. Navigating the tumultuous dating landscape of Atlanta. Trying to conceive over 40. Miscarrying twins. All have been my reality in the last seven years. Each could have become a bitter destination, except for this: I refused to see my disappointments as a permanent destination.  Some were devastating detours. I had to stop journeying for a while and recover. But I made a decision to be better and not bitter after each one. I made a decision not to get stuck staring at the obstacles before me, but to look up and remember the vision in my heart. That vision compelled me to keep hoping and keep moving forward.
      
  3. Be open to a path that looks different than you expected.
    It is easy to be rigid about how your dream must come together. Don’t. Be open to divine orchestration. Let go of your need to control the “how” of your vision so you can stay focused on the “why” – which leads me to this last point …
      
  4. Stay focused on the PURPOSE of your vision more than the excitement of it.
    At points, I began to doubt whether I would ever become a mother, and before that, whether I would ever find the kind of love I believe in.  A transformational message emerged from my doubt, though. I asked myself, “What if you never marry?” “What if you never have a child?” And I answered my “What if” questions. Here’s what I realized:  The world would not come to an end, so I better learn to be happy regardless of the outcome! If I didn’t get married or have children, I would live my life single without children and I would choose to have an incredible life. There are many women I greatly admire who are single without children – and happy, purposeful, loved and loving. So then, what would be the purpose of marriage and family in my life?  That is the question I needed to answer for myself.  I don’t believe that having a child is about me becoming a mom. I believe it is about having the blessed opportunity to nurture and grow a child God has seen fit to place in my care.  What an honor. It is about him, not me.  And perhaps that is the shift in thinking that shifted my life and brought us this amazing, perfect little boy for us. 


A Call to Action for you:  Don’t give up on God (Genesis 18:14). Stay connected to Him through His promises found in His Word. Hear His quiet voice within you giving you wisdom about how to proceed along your path. You can find more encouragement in A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility.

A Seed of Hope
A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility by Evangeline Colbert

Why You Need to Have a HOPE-FILLED Focus During Infertility

Hope Filled FocusGod said He wants men and women to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). His desire is for humanity to produce godly, prosperous families. He loves us all so much and He wants to bless us abundantly. One of His many blessings includes having children.

Many times, when infertility (“barrenness” as it is called in the Bible) strikes a husband and wife, the couple’s focus tends to only be on their inability to reproduce. Proverbs 23:7 declares that what a person continually thinks about is what he/she becomes. This means what we put our attention to, or what we focus on the most will expand in our lives. What you think about, over and over and over again is what will manifest in your life. This suggests that focusing on your present inability to conceive will not change it.

That’s why it’s imperative that you focus on God and not on the problem of infertility. In the Bible’s account of Abraham and Sarah, Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred year old body could never father a child.” Nor was he discouraged by Sarah’s decades of infertility and completely give up on the hope of having a child with her. He focused on God’s promise to him, confident that God would make good on what He had said.

Think and meditate with confidence on His promise in Deuteronomy 7:14. Have confidence in God’s unconditional love for you. Barrenness is not what God desires for His children. Trust His Word and His love for you. Have confidence that He wants you to be fruitful. Focus on that!

“You shall be blessed above all peoples; there will be no male or female barren among you or among your cattle.” Deuteronomy 7:14 NASB

 

Spiritual Tools :: YouVersion Infertility Bible Reading Plan

I have a YouVersion tool that you might find helpful.

It’s a Bible Reading Plan specifically for women struggling with infertility. You can easily access it on your phone, tablet, computer, and maybe even your watch! 🙂
YouVersion_logoREV
My infertility Bible reading plan is free on the YouVersion site. It includes applicable scriptures for the season of infertility as well as  brief biographies of women who struggled with infertility and overcame it. You’ll also find some great affirmations to use as you encourage yourself by speaking life to your life. It’s always good to be able to have a go-to resource when you need some encouragement.

Check it out:https://www.bible.com/search/plans?q=infertility.

Bonus tool:

The Appendix of my book, A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility, is full of multiple scriptures that will give you a good start in addressing the spiritual aspect of infertility. I hope you’ll keep it handy and use it daily to encourage yourself by using God’s Word.

Mother’s Day and Infertility

mother's day infertilityMother’s Day and infertility–they just don’t seem to go together. If you’re in the throes of infertility, is this a difficult time for you?

I remember some years ago when I dreaded Mother’s Day because I was struggling with infertility and it was difficult to get through that Day without feeling inadequate. Despite all the “trying” my husband and I had been doing, nothing was working and I felt like so out-of-place on that Day.

I wanted to experience pregnancy and it seemed that I couldn’t.

I wanted to watch my tummy grow and it seemed like that could very possibly be impossible.

I wanted to feel the baby kicking and moving inside of me and it seemed that I wouldn’t.

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”

~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

With infertility, the finite disappointment rolls around on a monthly basis, but don’t allow it to make you lose hope in Jesus’ for love you. Don’t let the doctor’s diagnosis make you lose hope for having a child. There’s a spiritual enemy, the devil, that would love for you to give up on Jesus–don’t let him win. Hope is what gets us through the tough times. I overcame infertility because I did not lose hope…I did not give up on God promises.

Reinforce your hope this week by digging more deeply into God’s promises of fertility. Let them give you courage to rest in His unfailing integrity, His covenantal willingness, and His omnipotent strength. Placing our hope in Jesus is the only sure thing. He desires to be our anchor, especially in times of raging storms.

“We have this HOPE as an anchor for the soul.” ~ Hebrews 6:19

Stay in the Word this week…allow Jesus’ love to speak to you through it. Need some suggestions for some applicable verses to read? Check out the appendix in my fertility devotional, A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility for lots of encouraging passages.

How will you cope with Mother’s Day 2015? Please share with us your ways of maintaining hope!

 

Image courtesy of 89studio | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 Secrets for Maintaining Hope When You Feel Like Giving Up

Evangeline Colbert - Hope in Hard Places

Here are some thoughts about hope that I shared over a year ago at In Due Time. If you’re about to give up because you’re feeling stuck in a difficult situation, I think this will help:

I know what the pressure of infertility feels like. It’s as if it completely surrounds you, pressuring you to give up, to not see any advantage in continuing to hope. In the midst of infertility, life can feel like you’re always stuck between a rock and a hard place. It seems like not much is working out in your favor. Every day seems as if infertility colors how you view life. It looms over every aspect of your life, clouding your vision so it’s hard to see anything good that’s on the horizon.

But I’m glad to share with you that in that place of feeling stuck, hope can shake things up, freeing you to enjoy life!

Here are 5 secrets that I’ve found to be powerful in nurturing and maintaining hope as you look to come out of this struggle with infertility.

  1. Believe God loves you. His love is a “no matter what” kind of love. No matter what you’ve done/thought/said, He loves you with an unfailing and unending love.
  2. Decide to not give up. Don’t underestimate the power of a decision!
  3. Remember the previous times, big or small, when God has come through for you. Encourage yourself.Think about those successes and the joy you experienced.
  4. On a daily basis, affirm the promise of God that relates to your situation by speaking the Word out loud. Instead of focusing on medical facts, allow God’s Word to be your point of focus and become your truth.
  5. Greet each morning with gratitude for the gift of a new day. This helps set a positive tone for the day ahead of you. Thankfulness has a way of shifting our attitude, choices, and behavior.

Hope established upon Jesus’ love never disappoints.

Hope is one of the three things that 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us will always remain as a resource that allows us to tap into God’s grace. We are to always have hope—the joyful and confident expectation of God coming through for us!

Allow hope to shake things up in your life so that you experience the freedom to confidently expect good things from a very good Father.


An Affirmation for You: God loves me and desires for me to experience only His goodness. I rest in His love for me. I choose to allow His desires for my life to be my desires. I maintain my hope in God!


When you’re feeling stuck in a situation at work, how do you bring yourself out of that? How can you apply that same strategy to infertility or some other personal struggle?

 

[Guest Post by Nerida Walker] God’s Will for Your Life is FRUITFULNESS!

Today, it my honor to share a guest post from Nerida Walker. I’m thankful that she too shares a message of hope for those struggling with infertility. If you’re not familiar with her story of overcoming infertility, read it HERE

 

Nerida WalkerHave you ever felt like God has forgotten you, abandoned you or is answering everyone else’s prayers but yours? We have all at some point in our journey felt this way and while these times feel very real, the reality could not be further than the truth.  It is very easy when struggling with infertility to lose sight of the goodness of God. Especially when another menstrual cycle begins. Therefore, I want to help you to overcome the times of doubt and despair by reminding you of what you already through Jesus and His finished work of the Cross.

I have listed below some Biblical truths to remind you that God’s has not abandoned you and that Fruitfulness is His plan and purpose for your life. So next time you feel forgotten or are struggling in your journey, encourage yourself with the following…

1) God created mankind to be FRUITFUL!

When God created Adam and Eve, He Blessed them and commanded them to be fruitful (Genesis 1:26-28). This was NOT just for Adam and Eve but for all of mankind. Even after the fall when fruitfulness was thwarted, God made provision for His children to be fruitful. We see this all throughout the Covenant God made with Israel. The Bible tells us that God does not change His mind and that He does not show favoritism so the simple truth is that God’s will for those who are in Covenant with Him is to be fruitful!

2) Infertility and miscarriage are NOT creations of God.

God only created everything good! James 1:17 tells us ONLY good & perfect gifts come from God. In the beginning infertility and miscarriage did not exist because God did not create them! Romans 5:12 tells us that death came through sin. This means ALL forms of sickness and disease, including those that cause infertility and miscarriage, resulted from the Fall. But don’t despair, because while we live in a fallen world where sickness and disease reign, always look to Jesus and His finished work on the Cross, because through Him God made provision for you to be made whole!

3) Gods will & plan for your life is what Jesus has ALREADY done for you!

Many struggle to know God’s will for healing of infertility BUT God’s will is very easy to determine!God’s will for your life is NOT what your circumstances, diagnosis, symptoms or your past experience says BUT is what Jesus did for you on the Cross! Jesus is the will of God for ALL of mankind, so what Jesus purchased & provided is God’s plan and purpose for your life!

4) Jesus has ALREADY won the battle of infertility for you!

If you understand what Jesus completed and perfected for you on the Cross then you will know that you don’t have to fight infertility any more! Jesus was the last Adam who came and redeemed mankind from everything that the first Adam bought upon us. We know that Jesus took the sin of the world to the Cross, but at the same time & in the same manner He also bore sickness and disease.  This includes any sickness and disease that can cause infertility and miscarriage! So don’t labor or strive against infertility in your own ability, instead REST in what Jesus has already freely provided for you!

5) God does NOT show Favoritism!

Some believe God chooses who receives Salvation and who doesn’t, who gets healed and who doesn’t and even who get babies and who doesn’t BUT the reality is that the victory Jesus purchased on the Cross is freely available to all who believe in Him!

2 Corinthians 1:20 NLT tells us that ALL of the promises of God have been FULFILLED in Christ and are always YES and AMEN (so be it) in Him! So it is time to unlearn all the traditions and doctrines of men and stick to Jesus & His finished work instead!

And lastly always remember…

6) The consistency of God’s nature!

Many falsely believe that God can do anything He likes BUT this is inconsistent with what Scripture says about Him. God’s Word is so clear on His nature and character! It tells us that God has bound Himself to His Covenant and to His Word and that means that God CANNOT:-

Change His mind or will

Change His nature

Lie or prove false

Break or go back on His Word

Alter His Covenant

Therefore, if you understand the New Covenant and what Jesus has purchased for you through His finished work on the Cross then you will KNOW that God cannot block, stop, withdraw or delay what Jesus has ALREADY provided for you!

These are foundational truths on the goodness of God and His plan of fruitfulness for your life! So next time you feel forgotten or abandoned remind yourself on what God has already provided for you through His Son. The more you look to Jesus, the less you are looking to yourself or to your natural circumstances. This will also help you to rest in His ability rather than in your own ability. Then you will see His power released in your life.

It was an honor to write this for you! I pray this post will continue to bless and encourage you and it is my prayer that infertility and whatever is causing it will be annihilated once and for all so that you will continue to go forth, be fruitful and MULTIPLY!

(C) Nerida Walker 2015

http://neridawalker.com

Nerida Walker's book - pregnancy and fruitfulness