Tag: Infertility

Strike Out the Negative Thoughts So That You Live With More Hope and Power

Posted on by Evangeline

Kamilah Giraud - Thought StoppingIt’s my pleasure to provide a “rerun” of Kamilah Browning Giraud’s guest blog post from 2015. She shares with us how she used “thought stopping” to get through her mother’s illnesses as well as her own struggle with infertility/miscarriages. Kamilah made the decision that she could depend more on God’s Word than she did on the doctors’ diagnoses. I hope her words encourage you to use the “STRIKE” method to turn away your negative thoughts and live with the hope, positivity, and power that God’s Word brings!

Be sure to read the 2018 Update below! 🙂 

Strike ‘Em Out by Kamilah Giraud

How many times do you go through a day and have “random” thoughts that are completely unrelated to your job, or to the task at hand? I’m sure there are some statistics that give an average, but I can even share with you that in the few minutes it has taken me to sit down and share the first few sentences with you, I have already thought about; how cute my co-worker’s shirt is (as she walked by my door), whether or not I will eat the salad I brought to work, or go to the cafeteria (as my stomach growled), and I even thought about what color I should get my nails painted next (as I looked down at the keyboard while typing). Now as trivial and harmless as these “random” thoughts may be, they all still served the same purpose–taking my focus away from what it is I have set out to do.

TOXIC THOUGHTS

While some may perceive these “mental vacations” as healthy breaks, others might find them as nuisances. I tend to ignore them most of the time because if I gave those thoughts much thought, then I would not have time for anything else. This scenario can be a little entertaining, but what about more disturbing thoughts that sound like, “Why bother running, you’ll always be fat”, or “It’s too hard to save money and pay my bills, so I’m probably never going to buy a house.” And what about the thought that comes up that sounds like, “Why keep trying? It hasn’t happened yet. I am fooling myself.”?

These  less trivial, less mundane, and certainly less entertaining thoughts can so easily surface throughout the course of the day and yes… they too serve the same purpose of taking your focus off that which you have set out to do. So then what type of recourse do we have against these thoughts? Well a good friend of mine name Paul, (whom I have actually never met) was imprisoned and wrote some most amazing letters that reflected how in spite of being in a place of true suffering, we can still choose joy. Even though I never met my friend Paul, and although his letters might originally been written in about 62 A.D, you cannot tell me that he didn’t address me directly in his letters too!

Philippians 4:8  says, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  Paul understood how these “random” thoughts can come to steal your peace. I can bet while he was imprisoned he had more than a few thoughts that popped up serving the sole purpose of stealing his focus off of spreading the gospel.

Paul said to fix your thoughts, which to me implies the need to replace “broken” thoughts. Broken thoughts are the ones that shatter your dreams, and distort your promises. Broken thoughts are lies from the enemy, and broken thoughts are contrary to the truth. So let’s do what my friend Paul urges. Let’s fix those broken thoughts by using thought-stopping, or what I call the STRIKE method.

S.T.R.I.K.E. Method

Stop the Thought
Replace it with God’s Word
Imagine what it looks like
Keep seeing it
Embrace the truth

As the broken thoughts begin to surface you can stop the thought. Many times that is an internal stop, but I have had to audibly say “Stop” in order to refrain from repeating the broken thought in my head.

As soon as you “stop the thought”, you need to replace it with God’s Word. Replace it with the truth–those thoughts that are honorable, right and pure. Replace it by thinking of things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

As you think on those things, imagine it and see yourself in the manifestation of it.

Keep visualizing the thoughts and keep seeing it. This is a faith walk, and we cannot be moved by what we see in the natural, so allow yourself to keep seeing through the eyes of Christ, and know that He sees His promises.

Embrace the truth! God’s word is true. As believers, we are not exempt from the suffering that’s inherent to human existence, but the good news is our faith gives us a different and hopeful perspective that is based on the truth. God is forever faithful and the truth is that He has plans for you to prosper and not to harm you. He has plans to give you hope and a future. That is the truth and you can embrace it.

S.T.R.I.K.E. out your negative thoughts: Stop the Thought. Replace it with God’s Word. Imagine what it looks like. Keep seeing it. Embrace the truth. Click To Tweet

Our thoughts may or may not respond to 3 STRIKES and be “out”, but if the negative thought comes to bat again, just as sure as a pitcher’s form and speed improves with practice, yours can too. All you need to do is throw another STRIKE.

Thought Stopping - Philippians 4:8

 

2018 UPDATE:

Kamilah is an overcomer! She consistently replaced the negative thoughts with Word-based positive thoughts. She meditated on the best, not the worst. Knowing that the power of life and death were in the words she spoke, she made her conversations align with God’s promises (Proverbs 18:21). Kamilah acknowledged that her miracle was in God’s hands AND her mouth!

She is now the mother of a beautiful baby girl! 

How Your Thought Life Could Be Affecting Your Fertility

Posted on by Evangeline

It’s important to know the factors  that affect fertility, isn’t it? Have you ever considered that your thought life could be one of the factors? Proverbs 23:7 NKJV enlightens us about this:

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

Here’s a graphic that I shared in my book, Live to Win.  It may help you see how our thoughts can actually become the seeds of our destiny.

Thought Life - Live to Win

From that graphic, it’s easier to see that our thought life is important, isn’t it? The thoughts we repeatedly think tend to eventually become the words we speak. Since our words shape our actions and future, we really need to pay attention to what we’re thinking. In other words, think about what you’re thinking about.

“My son, give attention to [think about] my words.” Proverbs 4:20 (emphasis added)

God’s Thoughts

The Bible tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that God said the thoughts He thinks about us are positive and good. They are thoughts of peace and not of evil. His thoughts about us, which are expressed in His Word, give us a future with a hope-filled outcome. Does His way of thinking indicate that God thinks you should be infertile and that you should forever remain that way? No—He’s thinking thoughts of fertility and abundance toward you!

God says that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. This means there’s room for improvement when it comes to our thought life. Instead of dwelling on the fact that another monthly menstrual cycle has started, or that you have a referral to yet another fertility specialist, choose a higher thought, a God-given thought. God-given thoughts are always based on His Word. Take time to meditate on His promises of fertility and allow them to shape your thoughts throughout each day.

Your Thoughts

Instead of wondering if you’ll ever get pregnant, choose to think about something else. Fix your thoughts on God’s love for you. Think about things from God’s Word that are lovely, true, pure, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). That’s thinking like Jesus thinks.

It just feels better when you think about good things, especially the things that God has said in His Word to bless you. It makes a significant difference in how you feel physically and emotionally. When you dwell on things that are good and uplifting rather than things that make you feel fearful, full of despair, and desperate, life is better!

Jesus has made a way for you to bring good things into your life and it starts with your thought life. Make the conscious effort to pay attention to what you’re thinking about today and enjoy thinking about the good things God has for you.

If you feel that you need help with improving your thought life, particularly about fertility, check out my Bible Reading Plan on YouVersion.

While You Endure the Storm Do You Ever Wonder “Where Is God?”

Posted on by Evangeline

It’s been a while between the last message from me and this one. Thank you for your patience.

In this season of infertility, you probably wonder to yourself, “Where is God? When is He going to show up and turn this thing around?”  I’ll admit that I did! Doubt and impatience sometimes got the best of me. But when it feels like Jesus is nowhere to be found, it’s important to recognize that it’s just a feeling and not the Truth. The truth is He is right there with you, promising to never leave you. He is ever-present and already well-proven to be able and willing to help.

Let Psalm 46:1-2 (The Passion Translation) encourage you:

God, you’re such a safe and powerful place to find refuge! You’re a proven help in time of trouble— more than enough and always available whenever I need you. So I will never fear.

Let Jesus be your Superhero!

There’s no need to fear… He’s the best ally and friend you could ever have. Recognize that He’s for you and not against you.

Call on the Lord; talk with Him from your heart. Invite His love into your situation. He cares about all the practical things in your life– your health, your marriage, your finances, EVERYTHING. He wants you to seek Him for wisdom on what your next step should be. He’ll never grow tired of your desire to have a heart-to-heart with Him.

Align your words with His promises. What comes out of your mouth is powerful. So much so that your words will either promote life/success/blessing or death/failure/affliction within your situation. Let what you say be based on what He has said.

All of these things are important. I think the BEST thing to do in this season of asking,”Where is God?”, is to consistently ask God for a fresh revelation of His love. When you know how much He loves you, that is a HUGE difference-maker in every circumstance of your life.

 

where is god
Photo courtesy of Microsoft Images

Infertility Help for the Holidays

Posted on by Evangeline

This post about navigating the holidays was originally shared a few years ago. Its message is timeless, so I’m sharing it again (with a few tweaks). Hopefully, you’ll find it uplifting! 

Holidays can be difficult to navigate when you’ve been declared infertile. I remember how easy it was to get caught up in all that was going wrong (infertility). It would have been easy to paint myself into a corner and have a pity party.  I could have chosen to neglect enjoying what’s meant to be a festive and fun time.  With the disappointment that comes month after month, it can become difficult to maneuver through the emotional drain of infertility, the possible health scares, the financial toll, and the marital problems that tend to stealthily creep in.

But during the holiday season, I encourage you to make a DECISION to look for the things in life you can be thankful for. A thankful heart looks beyond its present negative circumstances to the positive possibilities that lie ahead.

You may be asking yourself, “What do I have to be thankful for when all I want is to get pregnant and it isn’t happening?”

Holidays - Be Thankful

 

Here are 5 ways you can choose to be thankful during the holidays:

 Be thankful that God is with you. 

If you’ve asked Jesus into your heart, He has promised to never leave you and to always bless you with his unfailing grace. Be thankful that you can rest in knowing that God is for you and not against you (Romans 8:31).

 

Be thankful that there is nothing too hard for God, not even infertility!

Some people believe that we’re to thank God for putting us in tough situations because that’s how He teaches us something. I believe God is a better teacher than that. He can get his point across to us without putting us in tough situations. I believe that tough situations are brought to our lives by the devil but God can and will bring us out of them. Trust in God’s ability and willingness to make good come out of bad (Genesis 18:14; Genesis 50:20).

 

Be thankful for role models.

Be thankful that He has given so many examples of women who overcame infertility and that He has made promises in the Bible that relate to your fertility. Thank Him that you can count on Him to make good on those promises (Luke 1:7, 24).

 

Be thankful that God hears you as you pray His promises.

“So is my Word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me [through your confession of it] without producing results. As you believe and speak it, My Word will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” ~Isaiah 55:11 [paraphrased]

When you’re in the throes of difficult circumstances, life can become overwhelmingly sad and anxiety-laden. But remember, the One who has the power to change your circumstances is always right there with you in the midst of them, ready to display His power. Trust His love and His promises. God the Father wants to bring you out of the grip of tough times into His gentle caress of peace and rest. That’s what He planned for your destiny.

Giving thanks to God is the means of focusing on the solution rather than the problems we have. When we give thanks in the midst of our problems, we keep victory’s door open. When we’re dealing with infertility, or any other trying circumstance, being thankful to God is the best way to express that we expect Him to show Himself strong on our behalf. Thankfulness reinforces our belief that He will make good things happen.

 

Be thankful that He loves you unconditionally.

God the Father loves you just as much as He loves Jesus (John 17:23)! To have someone who always loves you is wonderful! No matter how much you doubt God’s ability, willingness, and timing, He still loves you. That’s something to be thankful for!

 

You can choose to make the best of the holiday season, in spite of your experience with infertility. One powerful way to do so is to express gratitude for what you have. Consider how you’ve been blessed in your health, relationships, career, finances, etc.

What will you choose to thank God for during the holidays?

 

Sometimes You Feel Empty in the Season of Infertility

Posted on by Evangeline

Empty.

It’s hard to get through the day feeling empty. Especially when every day seems to be filled with emptiness.

Empty womb.

Empty arms.

Empty heart.

Feeling empty

Emptiness is HEAVY. But how can emptiness have weight–isn’t that an oxymoron? I’m not sure how it happens but I know the emotions of emptiness and hopelessness are so heavy and burdensome and yet we readily tote them around as if we have no alternative. What do you do when those feelings of emptiness tempt you to carry them with you throughout your day? What if there was someone who wanted to carry that weight for you? Would you give it to them?

Well, the someone who has made that very offer is Jesus. He wants you to see Him as your burden lifter and carrier; the One who stands at the ready to pick up and carry all the weight of barrenness so that you can be yoked with Him, filled with His Spirit, and experience the fullness of His rest, peace and joy.

Will you let Him?

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

Bring Back Your Hope

If you’ve lost hope for something in your life, bring your hope back to life by finding a promise of God that relates to your situation. Believe that the promise is true for you. If you find it hard to believe, ask God to help you believe it (Mark 9:24).

empty - unbelief

Then speak that promise and expect it to manifest in your life. You’ll have to be persistent in speaking that promise…your enemy, the devil, will do all he can to distract you from believing and speaking it with confidence. Despite that, continue to thank God that His promise for you is sure and worthy of your trust. Rest assured, your hope will be renewed and your confidence increased as you fill the emptiness and renew your hope by taking a stand on the promises of God.

When emptiness, hopelessness, and other negative emotions overtake you and make you feel like something is missing from the very core of your being, Jesus’ love and grace are available everyday to comfort and guide you through the struggle.

Illustration Sources: https://www.betterhelp.com (empty) and http://www.joshuanhook.com (unbelief)

 

The Power of Gratitude

Posted on by Evangeline

Expressing gratitude is a powerful way to start your day every morning. Today I decided to share excerpts from posts as far back as 2012 that I hope will encourage you to always be on the lookout for something good and be thankful for it.

If you’re struggling with infertility, it’s so easy to get caught up in all that’s going wrong, the disappointment that comes month after month, the emotional drain of it all, the possible health scares, the financial toll, and the marital problems that tend to stealthily creep in. But today, make a DECISION to look for the things in life you’ll be thankful for.

Start by remembering that God is with you. If you’ve asked Jesus into your heart, He has promised to never leave you and to always bless you with his unfailing grace. Continue to rest in knowing that God is for you and not against you (Romans 8:31). Be thankful that He has given so many examples of women who overcame infertility along with promises in the Bible that relate to your fertility. Thank Him that you can count on Him to make good on those promises (Isaiah 55:11).  Even during the moments when you doubt His ability, willingness, and timing, stand firm in being thankful that He still loves you. Believe that He loves you no-matter-what, just as much as He loves Jesus (John 17:23).

Be thankful that there is nothing too hard for God, not even infertility (Genesis 18:14)!

WHY should I be grateful?

  • What I have, I don’t deserve because of my goodness, rather, it’s all because of Jesus’ goodness.
  • Gratitude and Peace are interconnected; the more gratitude I express to God, the more of His peace I experience.
  • It’s a way to express my indebtedness to others and to God, thereby helping me to become a better servant-leader.
  • Gratitude is a choice; I can just as easily choose to complain about life instead of being grateful.

I choose to celebrate that God loves me and blesses me, even when circumstances around me are teeming with reasons to not be grateful!

KEEP AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE!

Choose to be grateful. Expect an abundance of good things to come your way that will reinforce and grow this attitude so you can constantly be grateful, even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

 

What thing(s) do you do to remind yourself that, in spite of your circumstances, you have much to be grateful for?

Gratitude by Ziglar

Elisha Kearns’ Thoughts About “A Seed of Hope” Fertility Devotional

Posted on by Evangeline

A Seed of Hope - Elisha KearnsElisha Kearns has been a God-send to me. During her struggle with infertility, she has encouraged me many times about how my book, A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility, has helped her.  Elisha is a blogger and speaker who shares from her heart. It’s as if she were sitting right across from you, giving you loving encouragement in the midst of your struggle. You can find her at www.WaitingForBabyBird.com.

Earlier this year, I thought it was time to do a few updates to A Seed of Hope;it has recently been revised. Also, it now includes questions at the end of each of the 60 daily devotions. These questions are great for individual reflection or for fertility support groups to study. I’m pleased to let you know that Elisha graciously agreed to write the Foreword for the revised edition of A Seed of Hope.

A Seed of Hope Foreword

Here is what she shares in the book:

I am not sure if you are new to infertility or if you have been traveling this journey for months or even years, but I think we can all agree no matter the time spent on this unexpected path to parenthood that it is tough.  Really tough.  When I began walking this bumpy road filled with sharp turns and potholes, I wasn’t prepared. Were you?

I thought infertility was simply the inability to conceive after one year of actively trying. And rightfully so, because isn’t that the definition? But ask me now, nearly six years after leaving my doctor’s office numb and confused, then going through several failed treatment cycles and a miscarriage, and I will quickly tell you that the definition Google search gave me years ago is not even close to being accurate, and maybe you feel the same. Infertility, when you break it down, is somuch more than just the inability to conceive.

I have learned it is also a series of losses that you are forced to grieve month after month. It’s almost like a grave that keeps following you around as it grabs your hope and buries more and more of your dreams with each failed cycle. It’s a fierce battle between your faith and your circumstances. A battle you must fight to win every day. And a battle that is exhausting. But sweet friend, while I have learned so much about infertility through my experiences, I have also learned what it is not. And it is not going to win.

In 2012 after my last failed treatment cycle using In Vitro-Fertilization (IVF), I found myself falling further into a sea of despair thinking God had forgotten me. I couldn’t figure out what I had done to deserve this form of punishment and this type of shame. Every day, I felt as though I was trying to scoop the water out of my sinking ship with a small Dixie cup, only to keep watching the water come pouring back in.

My Search for Relief

It wasn’t until during one of my late night internet searches in which I was looking for something, anything that could give me relief from the intense pain my heart and soul was experiencing that I found her; I found Evangeline and her book, A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises for Fertility. And friend, once it was in my hands just a few short days later, I couldn’t put it down. Each entry was a breath of spiritual fresh air as her words brought life to the parts of me that were dry and wounded.

I found her personal struggle and unwavering faith in God to be the powerful inspiration I needed in my time of weakness. Her daily dose of encouragement helped me shake off the lies of the enemy so that I could stand firm and live my day faithfully with a hope-filled focus. A focus that has continued to enable me to believe in the Truth that victory over childlessness, no matter the diagnosis or cause, can be mine— and even yours.

It is my prayer and strong belief that as you dedicate each day to reading this 60-day devotional, as well as put to practice the undeniable tool of speaking God’s word over your situation as Evangeline teaches you to do, that you will begin to feel your hope supernaturally rise to a new level. You will begin to see yourself with the victory, rather than without. I also believe that you will begin to feel stronger in your faith, as well as empowered to know that while infertility is what it is— heartbreaking…dream shattering…soul crushing and faith breaking…you will also begin to know deep down within your spirit what it is not. You will know that because of the power of Jesus, it is not going to win.

Use This Tool

So grab a pen, a cute journal and marinate yourself with the Spirit-filled words of this book. Let it be a tool that helps you no longer see your situation through your eyes, but rather through His. You are a victor through Him, and victory over sickness and disease can be yours.

Thank you, Evangeline, for pouring out your heart and spreading God’s Truth to a community of men and women struggling to conceive. Your dedication to the Lord years ago saved me from turning away from my faith. My hope and prayer today is that through your revised edition, it will continue to help save others who are like I once was— trying to scoop water out of their boat with a small Dixie cup.

May God bless each of you reading these words with the deepest desires of your heart.

Elisha Kearns

Author of the faith-based nationally known blog, Waiting for Baby Bird

You Are a Victor!

If you’re struggling with infertility and you desire Scripture-based encouragement, get your copy of the revised edition of A Seed of Hope at www.BooksByEvangeline.com. It will help you see more clearly that you are indeed already a victor in Christ– even over infertility!

Maintaining a Strong Marriage During Infertility

Posted on by Evangeline

This blog post on maintaining a strong marriage first appeared here a couple of years ago. This past weekend a friend reminded me that the keys to a good marriage are good to keep top-of-mind during this season, so I thought I’d share this again.

A Strong Marriage Takes Work

Maintaining a successful marriage takes work under “normal” circumstances. It is especially important to work at maintaining a strong, hope-filled, and love-based marriage during the stressful circumstances added by a season of infertility.

Here are some important keys about love as God intended a husband and wife to experience it. Focus on how love REALLY is and not as it’s portrayed on television, in romance novels, and online. Focus on God’s love for you and how He wants you to love your spouse. Get more tips and encouragement in my e-book, Infertility Sucks! How to Maintain Hope in Your Marriage During Infertility.

I know the struggle is real. Which of these keys are you using “on purpose” in your marriage to keep it strong?

 

Strong Marriage

 

Infertility Sucks! How Do You Maintain Hope for Becoming Pregnant?

Posted on by Evangeline

Infertility sucks! No two ways about it, there is nothing good about the struggle itself, however, good things can come out it when we open ourselves to those possibilities.

Looking back on my experience with infertility, I remember it as a time of a lot of not-so-good-for-you emotions. Some that surfaced during that struggle were:

  • Shock
  • Devastation
  • Demoralization
  • Inadequacy
  • Loneliness
  • Jealousy
  • Confusion
  • Stress
  • Shame
  • FEAR
  • and more…

Those negative emotions each challenged me in maintaining hope for a pregnancy and a healthy baby. It boiled down to making a decision about whether I would give up on God’s love for me and His promises of fertility. I chose not to give up on Him but that was hard! When you’re staring at negative results every month, and listening to the enemy’s whispers about how God is silent and not moving on your behalf, it’s difficult to keep hope alive.

How I Overcame Infertility

Thankfully, I had understanding and wise friends who pointed me to the Word to find my solution. That was how I OVERCAME those negative feelings and infertility itself. A particular friend heard from the Lord in her prayer time and encouraged me to learn about the women in the Bible who experienced infertility and overcame it. That was a turning point for me!

If you’re struggling through the emotions of infertility (and I do mean through–don’t get stuck there), you know where I’m coming from–infertility sucks! Please know that you are not alone. Trust in the Word of God. Trust in His love for you. Believe that He always keeps His promises.

Have confidence that God’s promises of fertility are true for YOU. Find and anchor your hope in them.

Which one of His promises resonates with you and helps you maintain hope?

 

Battling Infertility? Here’s an Effective Scripture-Based Prayer

Posted on by Evangeline

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you have already been given the victory over everything the devil can throw at you… even if you’re battling infertility. In Him, you’ve been redeemed and made a partner to the biggest winner of all time! Prayer is a means of accessing the victory.

How do you pray? Have your prayers been filled with words of defeat, self-pity, and unbelief? Or do you pray with confidence that God’s promises of victory are for YOU?

Battling Infertility with Prayer

Here’s a prayer that can galvanize you in the belief that you are a victor and not a victim:

Prayer - Battling InfertilityFather, I’m Your child and I stand in the truth of your Word. I am in covenant with You and an heir to all your blessings. My spouse and I desire to have a baby. I stand on Your Word, with expectancy and thanksgiving, that  I receive that special gift from You. In the authority I have in Jesus, I speak to the “mountain” of infertility, “Be dried up at the root, never to affect our bodies again.”

We are redeemed from the curse. I believe that my womb is blessed and is a safe environment for our baby to grow. We look to experience a beautiful pregnancy, with no suffering during it.  Our expectation is a safe delivery that goes smoothly and quickly.

Thank You Father, for loving me.

Thanks for answering this prayer for the precious child you have created specifically for us.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

[Scripture references: Galatians 3:26, 29; Ephesians 2:4-6; Philippians 4:6; Mark 11:12-14, 20-24]

Coach’s Corner:

Here are a 3 questions to ponder. I encourage you to write the answers in your journal (or start one if you don’t have one!) .

  • How satisfied am I about my current level of expectancy and joy?
  • What does God’s Word say about expecting Him to come through on His promises?
  • How can I more effectively “speak to the mountain” of infertility using God’s Word?

If you’d like more encouragement and insight so that you more fully address the spiritual aspect of infertility, contact me to see if personal coaching might be of benefit to you. I’d love to talk with you about it!  🙂  #iHopeCoaching

 

 

Image courtesy of Nuchylee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net