Feeling Like You’re Stuck Between A Rock and A Hard Place

Stuck between a rock and a hard place

The pressures of infertility can make you feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. It’s as if it completely surrounds you, pressuring you to give up, to not see any advantage in continuing to hope. In the midst of infertility, life can feel like you’re always stuck between a rock and a hard place. It seems like not much of anything is working out in your favor. Every day seems as if infertility colors how you view life. It looms over every aspect of your life, clouding your vision so it’s hard to see anything good that’s on the horizon.

But I’m glad to share with you that in that place of feeling stuck, hope can shake things up, freeing you to enjoy life!

5 Secrets

Here are 5 secrets that I’ve found are powerful in nurturing and maintaining hope as you look to come out of this struggle with infertility.

  1. Believe God loves you. His love is a “no matter what” kind of love. No matter what you’ve done/thought/said, He loves you with an unfailing and unending love.
  2. Decide to not give up. Don’t underestimate the power of a decision!
  3. Remember the previous times, big or small, when God has come through for you. Encourage yourself. Think about those successes and the joy you experienced.
  4. On a daily basis, affirm the promises of God that relate to your situation by speaking them out loud. Instead of focusing on medical facts, allow God’s healing Word to be your point of focus and become your truth.
  5. Greet each morning with gratitude for the gift of a new day. This helps set a positive tone for the day ahead of you. Thankfulness has a way of shifting our attitude, choices, and behavior.

There’s Always Hope

Hope is one of the three things that 1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us will always remain as a resource that allows us to tap into God’s grace. We are to always have hope—the joyful and confident expectation of God coming through for us!

Hope established upon Jesus’ love never disappoints.

When you’re feeling like you stuck between a rock and a hard place, hope is there to bring freedom! Hope is what provides an inner image of good things to come. Hope removes the shackles of despair, no matter what situation you’re facing. Allow hope to shake things up in your life so that you experience the freedom to confidently expect good things from a very good Father.

 

hope in depression

Hope Begins in the Midst of Darkness and Depression

 

Sometimes, we are overwhelmed by the darkness and depression that consistently and continually seep into our lives. It is a downright insidious attack. But God said that hope never fails (1 Corinthians 13:13).  His Word and His love give us reason to never give up until the radiant light of His Word has broken through the darkness!

Hope begins in the midst of darkness and depression… 

Hope is defined as a joyful and confident expectation of good. [Source: Thayer’s Lexicon]

I like to think of hope as H.O.P.E.:

Having

Only

Positive

Expectations

In this acrostic, “positive” not only means the opposite of negative, it also means confident, fully assured. Therefore, each day you can choose to have a confident expectation of something good coming your way to bring you out of this season of infertility.

The prophet Jeremiah is a case study for how to maintain hope. Consistently recalling what his enemy had done to him caused Jeremiah to get deeply depressed. His mind and emotions were not at peace and he even became oblivious to anything good (Lamentations 3). But, when he chose to recall the good things God had done, he was filled with hope, confidence, and expectancy.

Practice H.O.P.E. daily!

Make the choice to recall the good that God has already done in your life. Remember that He loves you, is always with you, and enjoys making Himself available to do you good.

The account of Abraham & Sarah overcoming infertility is referenced in Romans 4 and tells of how he had a steadfast, firm hope in God’s promises. Verse 18 says that he “hoped against hope.” The phrase “hope against hope” means to continue to have hope even though the present circumstances and future outlook don’t warrant it. Abraham kept looking for the manifestation of God’s promise of a child. That’s how you have only positive expectations!

Remember, hope begins in the midst of darkness and never gives up until the light has broken through!

Give yourself permission to be like Abraham– keep your hope alive. Even though depression may be looming large, even though your natural circumstances may not warrant having hope, keep the light of hope burning bright in the midst of the darkness. When you get tired of waiting, God is still right there to help you continue on. Let Him know you’d like His help in maintaining your H.O.P.E.. As you trust in Him and His goodness, it becomes easier to maintain and overflow in hope.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”
~ Romans 15:13 (NLT)

Will you choose to refuse despair and move toward victory each day?

[This post includes an excerpt from my book, Infertility Sucks!]

3 Reasons to Believe You Will Get Pregnant

Has it been difficult to believe you will get pregnant because you’ve been trying for a while and nothing has happened?

It’s so easy to believe all the negative reports about infertility. We humans are trained through our normal, everyday situations to focus on and remember the negative circumstances of life. But what if there were powerful reasons to believe something radically different from the medical reports and the advice/counsel you get from friends and family? Would you believe?

Believe What God Said

Here are three reasons to believe that you’ll get pregnant and that you are already blessed and empowered to overcome infertility:

  1. God said none should be barren/infertile, not male or female [Deuteronomy 7:14].
  2. God said ALL things are possible with Him [Luke 1:37] and impossible without Him[John 15:5].
  3. God said He is always with you and His Spirit bears witness to the Truth (what God has said) because His Word is truth[ 1 John 5:6; John 17:17].

We’re told in 1 Kings 8:56 that “not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises He gave.” God is truly a promise keeper. Believe what He has said.

Questions

It’s time to be honest with yourself:

Do you believe that God loves you the same way He loves Jesus (John 17:23b)?

  • Yes or No

Are you making requests based on His promises and then expecting Him to do what He promised (1 John 5:14-15)?

  • Yes or No

Are you speaking His Word out loud because He said that it is medicine to your body (Proverbs 4:20-22)?

  • Yes or No

Will you continue to praise Him in advance of seeing your desire come to fruition, trusting that His answer is always YES to anything He has promised (1 Corinthians 1:20)?

  • Yes or No

I hope you answered YES to each of these questions. If not, it’s okay. That just means you’ve got some spiritual homework to do! 🙂

Take time to read all the Scriptures included in this post. Read them out loud to yourself more than once. Read them repeatedly and frequently over the next few days so that they begin to resonate within you. Look for other scriptures that speak specifically to your situation.

Then ask God to show you how to trust Him more. He’ll be sure to say YES.

To help you get started, download my special report, 12 Affirmations of Faith for Fertility. It’s available to you when you request to join our private Facebook group, A Seed of Hope.  It’s a support group of like-minded women, looking to walk this season of infertility with a perspective of faith and hope. I’d love to see you there!

 

 

Infertility battle -STAND

The Infertility Battle – You are NOT Condemned to Lose

The infertility battle is not one that you are condemned to lose. Even though month after month the challenge at hand may feel like you’ll never see the end of it, when you look at what God has said about it, you’ll see that things are not as He would have them to be.

How can you win the infertility battle when it feels like it will never end?

Here are some tips to put you on the path to experience victory:

  1. Discover, remember, and speak God’s promises of fertility (Joshua 1:8).
  2. God’s Word says that nothing is too hard for Him so infertility is not too hard for Him (Genesis 18:14).
  3. Worship the Lord, keeping your mind focused on Jesus’ love so that you can enjoy His soothing peace (Isaiah 26:3).
  4. Believe God. God does not lie, His promises are true. Not one word of God’s promises will ever fail you (1 Kings 8:56).
  5. Persevere; use the Word like Jesus did (Matthew 4:4).
  6. Choose to use your words to speak Life to your life. Speak (out loud) God’s Word to your circumstances (Proverbs 18:21).
  7. Anchor your hope in the truth of God’s Word. He has a plan for you and it is all good (Jeremiah 29:11)!
  8. Resist the devil’s attempt to make you doubt God’s integrity (James 4:7).
  9. Speak to the mountain and tell it to move out of your life (Mark 11:23).
  10. Allow God’s Word to be THE source of life in everything you do. His words are health to all your flesh (Proverbs 4:20-22).

Surrender your fertility to God.

I recently heard Minister Erica Moore teach about how Hannah, an infertile woman in Bible, gave her child to God even before she got pregnant (1 Samuel 1). Her surrender of what she deeply desired was an act of trust in God. Hannah did not allow that desire to become an idol; it would not be something that displaced God from first place in her mind and heart. She chose focus on God more than she focused on having a baby. This act of surrender was an act of generosity as well as an act of worship.

“I give you my fertility as a gift of generosity.” ~ Erica Moore, as she prayed to have a child in 2014

Erica prayed that prayer because she desired to have another child. Circumstances didn’t appear that it would likely happen. However, months later, Erica was pregnant! She has since given birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Victory was found in the surrendering!


Reign in Life

You’ve been graced to reign in life (Romans 5:17). You can face this infertility battle with confidence, knowing that God is there with you. You are NOT condemned to lose. Stand your ground speaking and believing His Word, knowing that He’s fighting your battle so that you can be victorious.

When you get in synch with God’s Word, you experience a higher frequency and higher level of victory!

For more about how to have a victorious mindset and experience victory in all areas of life, get my book, Live to Win.

 

Thanksgiving – Thankful for What?

   Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving Day here in America. It’s a time when we celebrate how God began to form a nation with very humble beginnings. It’s a time to be thankful for many blessings, especially the freedoms we enjoy here in America.

But, when you’re facing the difficult struggle of infertility, what is there to be thankful for?

It’s so easy to get caught up in all that’s going wrong, the disappointment that comes month after month, the emotional drain of it all, the possible health scares, the financial toll and the marital problems that tend to stealthily creep in. But this Thanksgiving Day, no matter where in the world you are, make a DECISION to look for the things in life you can be thankful for.

Start by remembering that God is with you. If you’ve asked Jesus into your heart, He has promised to never leave you and to always bless you with His unfailing grace. Continue to rest in knowing that God is for you and not against you (Romans 8:31). Be thankful that He has given so many examples of women who overcame infertility,   who stand as reminders of what His loving power can do in seemingly impossible situations. Be thankful that He’s also given you  promises in the Bible that relate to your fertility. Thank Him that you can count on Him to make good on those promises (Isaiah 55:11).

Even during the moments when you doubt  His ability, willingness, and timing, stand firm in being thankful that  He still loves you. Believe that He loves you unconditionally, just as much as He loves Jesus (John 17:23).

Be thankful that there is nothing too hard for God, especially infertility (Genesis 18:14)!

Sarah’s DUI

Sarah's DUI

Did you know that Sarah had a DUI thousands of years ago?  Her DUI was, of course, not driving while intoxicated/under the influence; it was “Deciding Under the Influence” – of doubt. Sarah made some life-changing, not-so-good decisions under the influence of doubt. Her strong incredulity about God’s promise of a son came back to bite her. Because it was taking so long for her to see the manifestation of the son God had promised them, doubt started to cloud her judgment. She made a doubt-influenced decision to help God keep His promise.

The details of Sarah’s DUI and the consequences of it were not pretty. You can read her story in Genesis 16. Doubting God’s goodness and His faithfulness to keep His word influenced her to offer her Egyptian slave, Hagar, to Abraham. Sarah decided to have her husband to take Hagar as a wife and have sex with her so that the slave could produce the heir that Abraham so desperately wanted. And of course, Abraham gladly cooperated! He probably thought that he was winning all the way around—sex with a “pretty young thing” AND producing the son he always wanted. But that was not God’s plan. As a result of this DUI, Sarah did not experience God’s promised gift as quickly as she thought.

God’s plan was for Sarah to birth a son. A surrogate was not going to bring forth the child of promise that He had planned for Sarah and Abraham. Even though it looked impossible, even though it took a long time, God’s plan was still the best plan and He did not need Sarah to run interference and attempt to force His plan to come to fruition.

Have you ever had a DUI like Sarah’s? Are there times when you struggle because you’re making a decision under the influence of doubt?

Decide to rest in God’s promise. Decide to be still and know Him as God of your circumstances. Your best efforts can never measure up to what He can do to bring good things your way!

 

 

Image from Springfield News Sun

Monday’s Marinade :: Your True Source

We all tend to look in a lot of different directions for the source of something good we’d like to have.

Today, start your week by meditating about how God is the unfailing Source of everything that is good.

Monday’s Marinade is provided to you as a means of “soaking yourself” in the hope-filled Word of God at the beginning of your week.  Repeatedly think about this and quietly say it to yourself.  Marinate and season your week with hope and a confident expectation of good things happening!

Here’s your spiritual marinade to remember your true source:

Monday's Marinade Ps 37-7

Communication During Infertility

Communication in a marriage is of utmost importance; it is critical if the marriage is going to be the best it can be. Without open and authentic communication, intimacy is negatively affected and that in itself opens the door to other problems. 

Mark 10:9 – What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

James 1:19 – Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Find help about how to strengthen your marriage during infertility in my book, “Infertility Sucks! How to Maintain Hope in Your Marriage During Infertility.”


Today’s post is taken from my friend’s blog over at In-Due-Time. Caroline Harries’ husband, Colby, shares great insights about maintaining open communication and expressing from the heart during their infertility journey. 

Communication is vital to relationships and essential to marriages. We have all heard, experienced, and accepted this important truth. Yet it is these types of foundational truths that we can also take for granted and miss if we become complacent. And communicating specifically in the area of a marriage that is going through infertility is something that has come up for us numerous times. I recently realized where I may have missed key communication that caused recurring heartache for us. Hopefully this will help other couples identify a potential area of hurt and miscommunication.

Read more…

Communication in Marriage



What do you do to maintain open communication with your spouse? 

Focus Friday – Promise Made, Promise Kept

Not many of us experience “a promise made, a promise kept” with other people. But the good thing is that we can count on God to keep every promise He has made.

God has made many promises to you and He will do what He said He would do. Find His promise about your situation in His Word. Expect Him to fulfill it!

Speak this Word to yourself throughout the day– by doing so, you’ll encourage yourself and maintain clarity about His will for you.

Promise

 

An Adoption Story of Hope

I subscribe to a number of emailed newsletters that help me become a better author, a better business woman, and especially, a better person. I recently received one from life coach, Valorie Burton. In it, she shared exciting and encouraging news—along with her struggles of conceiving over the age of 40 and a miscarriage. This is her personal story of how her dream to become a mommy has come true. I share it, with her permission, because I think it will encourage you to not give up hope, even if adoption is is not the path to parenthood that you choose.



 Valorie’s Story:

My lifelong dream has come true. Our lives have changed dramatically and beautifully in the last month. Since marrying my husband in 2013, I’ve been a “bonus” mom to two sweet, energetic, loving little girls. And now, God has seen fit to expand our family with a beautiful baby boy we’ve been privileged to adopt!  That’s right. I’ve become a mommy.

If you’ve read my books or followed me for a while, you know this has been a dream deferred, but I have never given up on the vision I’ve sensed deep in my spirit for marriage and family.  At times, I have felt frustrated, helpless, and discouraged, but I refused to give up hope. I could not.  To give up hope would be to give up on God. As I stand in the midst of this vision of love that has unfolded, I feel led to share my lessons learned so I can encourage you to persevere towards your own vision – whatever that vision might be:   

  1. Keep hoping.
    Without hope, there is no vision. When you stop hoping, you start settling. Be relentless and focused. At times, it may even appear you are delusional to keep hoping. So what! Keep believing in your vision and make your decisions, whether about relationships, finances, career, that honor your ultimate goal.
      
  2. Don’t let disappointments become your destination.
    Separation and divorce. Navigating the tumultuous dating landscape of Atlanta. Trying to conceive over 40. Miscarrying twins. All have been my reality in the last seven years. Each could have become a bitter destination, except for this: I refused to see my disappointments as a permanent destination.  Some were devastating detours. I had to stop journeying for a while and recover. But I made a decision to be better and not bitter after each one. I made a decision not to get stuck staring at the obstacles before me, but to look up and remember the vision in my heart. That vision compelled me to keep hoping and keep moving forward.
      
  3. Be open to a path that looks different than you expected.
    It is easy to be rigid about how your dream must come together. Don’t. Be open to divine orchestration. Let go of your need to control the “how” of your vision so you can stay focused on the “why” – which leads me to this last point …
      
  4. Stay focused on the PURPOSE of your vision more than the excitement of it.
    At points, I began to doubt whether I would ever become a mother, and before that, whether I would ever find the kind of love I believe in.  A transformational message emerged from my doubt, though. I asked myself, “What if you never marry?” “What if you never have a child?” And I answered my “What if” questions. Here’s what I realized:  The world would not come to an end, so I better learn to be happy regardless of the outcome! If I didn’t get married or have children, I would live my life single without children and I would choose to have an incredible life. There are many women I greatly admire who are single without children – and happy, purposeful, loved and loving. So then, what would be the purpose of marriage and family in my life?  That is the question I needed to answer for myself.  I don’t believe that having a child is about me becoming a mom. I believe it is about having the blessed opportunity to nurture and grow a child God has seen fit to place in my care.  What an honor. It is about him, not me.  And perhaps that is the shift in thinking that shifted my life and brought us this amazing, perfect little boy for us. 


A Call to Action for you:  Don’t give up on God (Genesis 18:14). Stay connected to Him through His promises found in His Word. Hear His quiet voice within you giving you wisdom about how to proceed along your path. You can find more encouragement in A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility.

A Seed of Hope
A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility by Evangeline Colbert